Relationships are a union of usually two individuals, mostly - not always - of a different gender, a different age, and sometimes of different cultural, religious or spiritual backgrounds. It is no surprise that different opinions and values domineer the relationship landscape. In the first stages of honeymoon and limerence differences stay often invisible or deliberately unaddressed. Instead couples are blessed with oxytocin, a sex hormone helping them to bond, and much infatuation for each other. Sex is plentiful on the agenda. Limerence is a one off and passing high in any new relationship and usually exhausts after 12 to 18 month.
The actual part of relating starts here. Differences show up and tend to create partner problems. Disappointment sets in if the conflicting views and feelings stay unresolved. Sex life will suffer the negative consequences of unrealistic and unresolved relationship expectations.
Partners can learn to overcome their conflicts with communicating their feelings and needs assertively. A loving will to sort out differences is necessary. Skilled communication starts with listening, owning and containing one's own emotions and allowing the partner to speak without interrupting . Time to speak up should be shared equally, and feedback to what has been said needs to be given, making sure that the listening partner has fully understood what has been said. When the talking partner is finished roles need to be swopped.
After both partners have clearly understood the nature of their dilemma, problem solving imputes need to be shared and agreed on by both sides. In the event of repeated failure of implementing new steps and changes a professional sex and relationship therapist can help.