ON ADDICTION - LUNCH WITH CHRISTOPHER KENNEDY LAWFORD


I was honoured to attend an invitation by South Pacific Private Hospital where the nephew of John F Kennedy and son of actor Peter Lawford delivered a powerful speech addressing addiction as a treatable disorder of the brain, and the consequences of harmful stigmatisation most addicts experience as a result of their illness. Christopher has been living in recovery from addictions for over 24 years. He is now the CEO of the Global Recovery Initiative, he serves as the United Nations first Goodwill Ambassador for Drug Treatment and Care Issues and works with the White House on National Drug Control Policy (ONDCP).

Christopher shared aspects of his own trauma, addiction, and recovery and reminded us of the importance to change social attitudes about addiction. He emphasised the need to close the gap between new scientific knowledge and contemporary public perception.

The American Society of Addiction Medicine has recently redefined addiction as a 'primary, chronic brain disorder' and not merely a bad behaviour or poor choices. Addiction, including sex addiction, is a treatable condition of the brain. If left untreated, addiction takes the place of organising principal in the addict's life and is likely to affect every member of the family, the workplace, friendships, and community.

Addiction is one of the most serious and costly health problems in the world, ahead of depression, cancer, and heart disease. Untreated substance abuse is incurring an estimated economic cost of 559 billion dollars to society in the US alone!

Approximately 90% of addicts do not receive treatment. Social stigma and shame, economic hardship, a fear of judgement and rejection, and a lack of experienced professional therapists and sex therapists may also be responsible.

Christopher emphasised that prevention of addiction must become a major focus. Approximately 95% of every health dollar is spent on treating the consequences of addiction, as opposed to the prevention of addiction disorder.

South Pacific Private Hospital, Australia's most recognised addiction treatment facility, has specialised in the treatment and prevention of addictions since 1998.

Sex Addiction Australia is an Affirmotive private professional counselling practice, operated by founder and director Heide McConkey. Heide is also an endorsed service provider by South Pacific Private Hospital. Sex Addiction Australia specialises in the treatment and prevention of sexual addictions, sexual compulsions, and complex relationship issues. We welcome all gender, all minority groups, and all sexual orientations.

SEX ADDICTION AUSTRALIA LAUNCHED!

I am back after a long and busy time with very good news.

www.sexaddictionaustralia.com.au is now life on Google. This new and exiting website is dedicated to contribute to the treatment, recovery, and prevention of sex addiction, and its soul destroying impacts on personal lives, relationships, marriages, and families.

Sex Addiction Australia's mission is to providing accurate information about sexual addictions, sexual health and STI risks, safer sex, risk taking behaviors, and other non-sex addiction behaviors, such as sexual orientations, gender, sexual life styles, and paraphilia/fetish.

Jump to the 'Ask A Question' section and try out our new sex therapist paid email service, and receive your professional answer within 48-72 business hours.

Hope you enjoy Sex Addiction Australia. Till next time Heide

SEX ADDICTION AUSTRALIA AFFIRMOTIVE NEWS

The release of our new website www.sexaddictionaustralia.com.au is just around the corner. We are expecting to be ready for the launch by January 2012. We hope you will enjoy our new and specialized site. We focus on information, education, treatment, and relapse prevention of the most controversial addiction of all - sexual addiction - who is at risk, what are the causes, how to treat sexual dependency, and how to introduce healthy sexuality.

Affirmotive Sex Addiction Australia will also focus on support, rehabilitation, and healing of the addict's relationships, and the severe negative and devastating impacts on the addict's spouse, family, and friends. Sex Addiction Australia offers a realistic possibility to say goodbye to your sex addiction for good. Our clinical experience in treating sexual addiction confirms that full recovery can be achieved.

Sex Addiction Australia will furnish you with a comprehensive professional survey to assess your risk of you having addicted. You may also appreciate our polls or drop a personal question into our Ask a Question box.

Affirmotive's sex therapist Heide is looking forward hearing from you. Till next time!

RELATIONSHIP CONFLICT SOLVED WITH LOVE

Relationships are a union of usually two individuals, mostly - not always - of a different gender, a different age, and sometimes of different cultural, religious or spiritual backgrounds. It is no surprise that different opinions and values domineer the relationship landscape. In the first stages of honeymoon and limerence differences stay often invisible or deliberately unaddressed. Instead couples are blessed with oxytocin, a sex hormone helping them to bond, and much infatuation for each other. Sex is plentiful on the agenda. Limerence is a one off and passing high in any new relationship and usually exhausts after 12 to 18 month.

The actual part of relating starts here. Differences show up and tend to create partner problems. Disappointment sets in if the conflicting views and feelings stay unresolved. Sex life will suffer the negative consequences of unrealistic and unresolved relationship expectations.

Partners can learn to overcome their conflicts with communicating their feelings and needs assertively. A loving will to  sort out differences is necessary. Skilled communication starts with listening, owning and containing one's own emotions and allowing the partner to speak without interrupting . Time to speak up should be shared equally, and feedback to what has been said needs to be given, making sure that the listening partner has fully understood what has been said. When the talking partner is finished roles need to be swopped.

After both partners have clearly understood the nature of their dilemma, problem solving imputes need to be shared and agreed on by both sides. In the event of repeated failure of implementing new steps and changes a professional sex and relationship therapist can help.

Sexual Health Therapist Heide McConkey from Affirmotive in Bondi Junction

LIBIDO MISMATCH

Libido is the desire for sex, if we feel like it or simply not. Libido differences are a normal every day occurrence in sexual relationships. 

Libidos are naturally fluctuating and depend on many life influences. If libido conflicts are left untreated they may result in relationship upheaval or break up. The 'higher libido' partner may feel frustrated and angry because their 'lower libido' partner cannot meet their needs. The 'lower libido' partner may feel increasingly anxious, stressed, angry and under undue pressure and may avoid intimate situations altogether because they feel unable to meet their partners sexual expectations - a vicious cycle. 

Sex therapists treat couples with libido issues every day. Commonly more women present with low libido, but it would be a mistake to assume that low libido is a female sexual dysfunction. I treat is an increasing number of men in their mid twenties and forties who's relationships threaten to break up because they simply don't feel like sex. 

In some cases the disorder may originate from abnormal low testosterone/androgen levels. A simple blood test and hormone replacement treatment by a qualified medical practitioner may remedy the condition. 

More often however, low energy, boredom, toxic stress, a too busy life style, hormonal roller coster after giving birth and/or breast feeding, other hormonal imbalances, the strains of raising a family, relationship discord, depression, worry, a poor understanding of sex and sexuality, poor health, illness, certain medications, alcohol or drug abuse, a lack of privacy, obesity, a lack of physical exercise, and many more overlooked life factors can act as contributors to distress, all capable to suppress libido. 

Professional counselling and sex therapy provided by AFFIRMOTIVE have had success in treating libido mismatch effectively.

If you have further questions how to improve your sexual relationship please call Heide during office hours on 02 9386 5656.

Cheers Heide
  

SEX FETISH

A sex fetish can be an object, body part, or behavior which in its self is not necessarily sexual, but becomes associated with high sexual arousal.

Many things can act as a fetish. A common sex fetish example is a female stocking or pantyhose. These are non sexual objects by nature and would not turn on most people.

The change occurs when the stocking becomes an object in sexually stimulating fantasies and association to sexual seduction or a sexual act.

The fetish acts as an on or off switch to an 'internal sex-video'.

The history of a fetish is not always clear, but in occasions can be traced to childhood or adolescent development.

Untreated fetishes may gain in strength over time. Some affected individuals MUST have their fetish present, either by wearing, using or doing it themselves, or by urging their sex partner to do so.

An untreated sex fetish may even have the power to completely erase any natural sexual arousal, and the affected person totally relies on their fetish. No fetish means no sexual desire or arousal.

Sex fetishes are 'die-hards' but can be treated. I have seen some successful outcomes in people who wanted to change their life and rescue their relationship.